I Feel Paralyzed

First off, let me say that I hate trying to think up titles for my blog postings. To try and be witty, clever, and cute, all the while trying to tie it in to some random thought I want to write about, is stressful! So, each time, I sit and think of what interesting way I can introduce a completely irrelevant, useless fact about my personal life in a fantastic, funny way. Alas, the best I could come up with was that I feel paralyzed ?!

I feel paralyzed, dear friends, because after finally getting over a hideous cold I've had for the last couple weeks (which, thanks to echinachea infant drops, Reese caught NONE of, thank the LORD), I went to boot camp Saturday morning, and caught a new kind of attack on my comfort: a back muscle strain. Okay, I have no idea if it's called a "back muscle strain", but that's certainly what it feels like. The last time I had back pain was last April, and it was sharp, piercing, and two months long!! LUCKILY, this feels nothing like that time. I am sore, stiff, uncomfortable, and feel like I am walking like a chicken, with my chest and rear end sticking out. This is the only way to walk with ease, unfortunately. I don't think it looks nearly as bad as it sounds, because noone has said anything to me, so that's good. But, I'm miserable, because I cannot go to boot camp!! I believe I may have an addiction. Seriously! When I first got injured, I got completely stressed out and overwhelmed, because my first reaction was that I was going to have to deal with this for two months, and miss out on all the hard work I've been doing, and all the progress I've made physically. Niles wasn't very sympathetic, because he says I tend to get overwhelmed very quickly, before I really know what's going on. WHAT?!?! Ok. He's right.

I am feeling MUCH better than I did Saturday night, mostly because I have been icing and heating it alternately for two days straight. I've only rested for two days now, but it really killed me that I couldn't go work out today. I now understand (in my own small, very small way) how it must feel for professional athletes if they get injured and have to sit out for long stretches of games. It must eat at them and feel horrible. Bryce, my little brother, has had back pain several times, and gave me some good tips: heat it, cool it, heat it, cool it, and don't work out. Thanks Bryce. duh. =)

Reese is DEFINITELY getting teeth this time. I know I've thought she was teething since she was about four months old, but this time it is for real. I can even feel them! Little sharp, pointy things! I'm so proud of her! My little girl is getting so big. We got her birthday invitations in the mail today, and I'm so excited to send them out. Niles made them himself. I'm doing a rubber ducky theme, since we seem to have an overabundance of ducks for some reason. And, she was a duck for Halloween. I really did not mean to be so duck-happy, but it just seemed to end up that way! She has not been sleeping that well lately, which, I'm sure is due to the sharp pointy bones she's growing, but I have to say, it's kind of nice! For once, she will actually cuddle with us! She will wrap her little arms around us, and snuggle right into our necks! It's the best feeling in the world. There is nothing like feeling that little chest rise and fall, that heartbeat right next to yours, and the sweet smell of that Johnson's baby shampoo in her curly hair. I love that little girl so much.

I had my first DBU course last Thursday. My homework for this week, among lots of reading, was to write my autobiography. Now, this is something that could get a little out of hand for me. When asked to write things like this, I get a little OCD, and feel like I have to include every detail of my life. It's become very clear to me that I will need to go back through and determine all the superfluous information. Which means, nearly all of it. Although, it has been somewhat fascinating to go back through my life and really recognize what may have developed my personality and my character as it is right now. It's also a bit scary to relive some of those things. There are parts of life you forget for a reason. Or, if you don't forget them, you would like to forget who you were when you were living them. I'm certainly not a perfect person, and there are many many ways I'd like to improve on myself, but I'm happy with who I am right now. I know that past events have worked to make me this person, but having said that, it is very difficult to look back at periods in my life and realize the extreme levels of stupidity I operated in. I used to get really upset when thinking back on my old self, and I would sit and think how I wish I could go back and change who I was... If I could only go back and shake the idiocy out of the old Lindsay. But, I'm stuck with my past. And, as we all know, the future is our gift to ourselves.

So, I'm gifting myself with skipping out on boot camp, so I can heal up and not get hurt worse. Although, I'm feeling somewhat compelled to get up at 5:30 tomorrow for the 6 a.m. class... JUUUUst in case.