So I'm missing church this morning because Cam is getting his first tooth, and is feeling pretty crappy - whether it's because of the tooth or allergies, or whatever, this poor boy is red, watery, snotty and teary. It's so sad. So I'm keeping him home just in case.
But I'm so glad I did. I have needed some really good, maximized alone time with the Lord. And it seems so difficult to find these days with work, children, no sleep, church activities, and just LIFE responsibilities. I have been so tired, so overwhelmed by emotions (probably because of being tired!), and just completely drained, that I have been absolutely no fun to be around. I'm always whiny, overemotional and sensitive, and pretty much intolerable probably. To be at home this morning has been a tremendous blessing in disguise. Even though I've been taking care of my boy, I've had time to play my worship music loud and uninterrupted; read one of my devotionals during his bath time, while sitting in the presence of God listening to Eddie James sing about the name of the Lord. It has been one of the most refreshing times I've experienced in quite a few weeks.
What I've learned over these past few weeks is that not only can I not survive without the presence of my Father, I cannot function without His peace, victory, and hope. The knowledge of the victory and authority I have over my emotions and my personal frustrations/concerns/issues that I have been reminded of this morning, is utterly indescribable for me right now. I have sat on some things for a while, praying casually but sincerely, that the Lord would help me submit them to Him; but I have not paused to really sit in His presence and reflect on His Word for me, reflect on His nature, His love for me, and I have especially not paused to thank Him and bring worship to Him for what He has already done for me.
But this morning I have had that time.. And here's what God immediately showed me through one of my many, many bedside table books. =)
"You are more than a conqueror!"
Romans 8:17 - Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him who loved us.
This is not a new verse to me, but because the Word of the Lord IS actually inspired, living and active, it has ramshackled my spirit this morning!! IT's like, I just forgot about His SURPASSING VICTORY!!! How?!?! How does one forget that they are given a surpassing and everlasting victory over their life circumstances and their insecurities and pains?!?!? Because I've been too busy for Him to sit and remember. I've been too busy to rest in Him, abide in Him and find peace in Him. Totally unacceptable!! And I've paid the price for it. (So has Niles ;)
"True victory for the child of God comes when there is still peace in the soul right in the midst of the raging storm - when tragedy strikes and one can still say, "it is well with my soul." This can only happen when you are looking at Jesus instead of your circumstances."
DUH!! I know this. But how easily, quickly I've been shaken... How simple it has been for the world to take that confidence and peace from me because I've felt like everything I've been doing has been too important to let go of in order to give the Lord His time with me.
"The key to having victory is understanding it only comes 'through Him who loved us.' If you are facing problems that seem insurmountable, remember you are a conqueror through Him. Allow God to strengthen your inner man. When you are strong inside you can defeat anything that comes against you."
Thank. You. God.