Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Home for the Holidays?!?! NOT.

SO. Since putting the 22-Year-Cole-Family-Dreamhouse on the market last weekend, mom and dad have had a steady stream of visitors all week long last week, followed by a very successful Open House on Sunday. They have had two offers already and finally decided to accept one of them. Which is semi-good news. The facts are, no matter what they are moving and it might as well be sooner than later. I think for my mom, it would be easier to just cut the cord and go. But at the same time, the news that they are being asked to be out BEFORE THANKSGIVING I think is tough to take. It's at least extremely tough to take for ME!! I spent the hour before falling asleep last night trying to figure out what to do with myself while I cried my eyes out. I'm not a big touchy-feely kind of person, so when I cry, the last thing I want is to be hugged or touched. I'd prefer to cry on my own and not be messed with... Which left Niles in a bit of a quandary. Poor guy. I think he was digging through our junk drawer for my old therapist's number. just in case. I thought, okay, I'll sit in bed, cry somewhat silently, while listening to my iPod and looking at magazines. Unfortunately, that was not at all therapeutic. So, I just caved and went to sleep to the sound of Wedding Crashers. What... does that not seem appropriate? What's more therapeutic than Vince Vaughn?!

Today I was watching Larry King Live about the California fires, and realized I actually know a lot of people in San Diego that I have not checked in on! So, I emailed my friend Janie, and got the news back from her that they are all okay and safe. Although, she did let me know that they did have to go pack up valuables from her parents' house... (yes, my friend, I do know that you're probably reading this. I'm RELIEVED and so happy to know you are okay!!!!!) So, her brother, Josh, who is on my blogroll just to your right, has pictures from his driveway of the fires in the distance. It's extremely tough to look at, and it certainly gave me some perspective. All I could think of was how it would not be possible to look out your window and get back in bed peacefully... What a terrifying feeling.

As I continued watching LKL, they interviewed another news reporter who actually watched his house burn down. I think his name was Larry Himmel. Anyways, it was really tragic to hear him talk about - while seeing his completely destroyed home in the background - how he was standing in the driveway where he used to pitch baseballs to his son, and kiss his wife as he left for work everyday. He lived in that home for 25 years, and in the span of a few hours, he lost so much of the tangibility of his memories... I just completely lost it. It occurred to me how grateful I should be that even though we are leaving the home I grew up in, the home we have owned for 22 years, at least we are leaving it with all our memories in tact. All our belongings in place, the basketball goal from 15 years ago still there, the driveway where I found my first car tied with a ribbon (yes, i was spoiled) still there, and the huge front windows where our Christmas tree has always been on display going nowhere. Yes, the new people may take the goal down, yes, they may cut all the ivy off the house, change the landscaping (please!!), keep different cars in the driveway, and perhaps they won't have their Christmas tree in the front windows, but it will still be there. I can always drive by (and I probably will - so watch yourself newbies!!) and check in on it.

So, all that to say, I'm ridiculously sad about the fact that we will never have another Christmas morning on Shady Creek, but so many others are suffering the loss of their homes in a much worse way, and I'm extremely sad for those people, but grateful that I can take away this small comfort and I hope that doesn't seem selfish, but it's true.

I'm on a new mission to find out how we can possibly help those in California who are without homes, and if anyone has any ideas, let me know!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


My brother read my rant about the yellow pages commercials (below) and said I have anger issues I need to work on. =)

He is possibly correct!!

Right now I have several issues with varying degrees of emotional exertion. The first of which is the completion of my dad's conference. Christian Men's Network, the ministry my grandfather started in 1977, just celebrated its Thirtieth Anniversary. Not only was it our anniversary, but it was somewhat of a relaunching of the ministry for my dad. It has been a long hard, emotional experience, transitioning the ministry from my grandfather's hands to my father's, and not one without many questions that start with "Why...?". The conference was a smashing success, giving my dad the exact kind of encouragement and momentum he needed and the ministry needed and it also marked my debut as an all-around event coordinator, in charge of everything from volunteers (finding, scheduling, reigning in), speakers, transportation, facility liasing (word??), hotels(reservation management is probably the MOST TIME-CONSUMING aspect of any event I have ever participated in. It's certainly not a one-person job if you want to do it right!!), registration, money handling, yadda yadda yadda. It has been an extremely overwhelming summer getting ready for this event, and while I'm relieved it's over, it was also encouraging to me once the event came to a close, to realize that I had pulled it off, with minimal mistakes, and lots of ideas for next time. =) But I have to give MAJOR "props" to my friend Amy, who was my right hand for the entire thing and without her, I might have been in the fetal position in the corner of the lobby. ALL THAT TO SAY, it's taking me a good few weeks to recover from the sleep deprivation and hype. I'm exhausted.

Another huge event taxing my emotions is the big FOR SALE sign in the front yard of my parents' home. The home I lived in and have at least been to on a daily basis for the last 22 years of my life. It's my childhood home, the one where I had my 16th birthday, my 10th birthday, my 8th birthday!!! The home where every major event of my life has been celebrated, every holiday has been had, every going-away party, coming-home party, along with many and many baby showers, wedding showers, and any major playoff watching parties have been had, and not even just for me... for a churchful of people, for all my friends, for all of my brother's friends... This is the house that my daughter took her first steps in, had her first birthday in, went swimming for the first time at... The thought of not celebrating another Christmas in this house, is no less than gutwrenching. With the exception of a small handful of my friends, we've lived in this house longer than most people I know have ever lived in one place, maybe even one city! I am so torn up about the whole thing. But the worst is watching my mom go through it all. If you know my mom, you know you can't even guess how many layers of paint may be on each wall - how many times the counters have been redone, the cabinets have been painted, the color scheme has been changed. If you know my mom, you know that her home is a reflection of herself. It's her escape, her passion... I know it seems ridiculous to be writing on and on about this, but if you know me, and you know my family, you have been to our home countless times and probably have several precious memories of your own. Because that's how much we have loved and shared this house. I will have to post pictures later purely for preservational purposes. It is rough. Very very rough.

Anyways, just thought I would share.
I am not good at venting my emotions and so trying to keep calm during all of this is very difficult, but I know my problems are extremely small in the face of so many others'... So maybe blogging about it all will help.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Absolutely Absurd

You know what annoys me lately??
The absurd AT&T yellow pages phone book commercial.
What overpaid geniuses sat in a room and thought of a
marketing concept for a PHONE BOOK that entails a
jingle sung by people who simply cannot wait!, are so
excited!, are on the edge of their seats waiting for,
looking for...
their new yellow pages book.

Can I just tell you, the absolute LAST thing (aside
from Mormons or people ("single" moms, yeah right)
selling outlandishly overpriced magazine
subscriptions) I want on my doorstep, is a BIG ASS
YELLOW PAGES BOOK. I despise those things. All they do
is make me feel guilty because I don't recycle them
when I finally drag their dust-covered, still wrapped
in plastic, selves out of my closet to finally throw
them away.

I feel better now.