Lately...

Lord is life ever busy right now. Maybe that's why I physically feel sad when The Hills is over. But seriously, life is full of wonderful things right now, but I have to say, I would love to feel like I actually have time to do anything relaxing, rejuvenating, refreshing...

I really just want an hour by myself to sit, read, not think, not plan, not check emails or answer my phone, and escape.

Let me be clear that I am totally thrilled with my job, my opportunities... even the busy-ness is great and right up my alley. But I also know it gets really easy to slip into survival mode, neglect relationships or family time, and let the obligations overtake the joys. I am determined to ensure that my family gets what they need from me, as well as ensure that I get what I need from life. And most of that means allowing God to really fill me up when I get empty... really allow Him to fire me up when I burn out... and listen when I hear the prompting of His voice to slow down, stop talking, and mostly stop worrying!!! Everyday I have to remind myself that God only gives us the grace to deal with today, because He specifically tells us not to stress over tomorrow because it will take care of itself.

Right now I find myself giving out sooo much, and expending so much that it's not till later that I realize I am exhausted or that I can really take in the experience that has already past.

Well, I know that I am walking in God's purpose for my life. I know that Niles and I together are on the path God has set before us, and we will continue that way, knowing that at times we will fail, we will screw up, and at times we will actually accomplish things, and make progress, and be successful! The objective is to make sure that God takes pleasure in our lives and is blessed by what we do. And right now I will have to realize that sometimes that means stepping back, maybe stepping out, not being in control of every situation, knowing I can't fix everything, everyone. Realizing that I may disappoint people because I finally take care of myself instead of them... And I will totally be uncomfortable!!

I'm guarding my heart, letting God direct my steps, my words, trusting Him to go before me and make a way for me as He always has. Trusting that He will answer my prayers and hear what's in my heart... And I know He does. Time and again He has shown that my prayers do not fall on deaf ears, and why I ever doubt, I do not know.