Ventage

So something has been called to my attention.
I already sensed it as I wrote my blog on Sunday...

I mainly use this blog as a place to vent my frustrations, vent my feelings about life, child-rearing, everything... But I also probably spend too much time whining aobut my full schedule and how I never get to "rest", and not nearly enough time talking about the fullness of my life, and how much I ENJOY my daughter.

Let me put this in no uncertain terms... Having Reese is the most fulfilling, wonderful experience I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying. I love every little thing about that little girl. I love her crazy hair that I cannot fix smoothly to save my life. I love how she sings songs to herself, makes up music on her own, I love watching her do her puzzles, struggling to put each little piece exactly in its place. I love watching her color, concentrating so hard on holding that marker, pressing it so firmly onto the paper that I'm scared she is going to push the marker part out the other end! I love how she "works on her house", tearing her playhouse apart and pounding on it with her plastic hammer. I love how she wants to have books in her bed with her when she goes down for her nap. I love B!! I love that she always wants to wear dresses, and dancing shoes... And I love her so much, that I cry as I write this because any difficult days, any temper tantrums, any days where I have raised my voice at her when maybe I shouldn't have because I was that frustrated, any time where she has flat out ignored everything I am saying and completely disregards me, pale in comparison to the joy that she has brought to my life.

I say this so that when I have a second child, I can reassure myself, that while the "baby days" are difficult, the joys to come and the experience of loving a child and being loved by a child is immeasurable and incomprehensible. It so far surpasses my highest expectations of being a mom.

I had a very difficult first couple months being a mom, and a difficult time during the 7 month old to 9 month old phase, as well. But I can barely even remember that now. It all goes so fast. And the difficult days end - every 24 hours! Because even one day in a child's life changes them it seems. I remember looking at my friend's 2 year olds when Reese was only 1, and thinking, there is NO way Reese will be there in a year!

ALL THIS TO SAY, for all you moms out there having any difficulties, having tough days, days where you need help (!), days where you feel totally alone in this whole thing (despite your husband's best attempts!), days where you feel like your life is completely ripped out of your hands... IT GETS BETTER!! AND BETTER AND BETTER AND BETTER!!! Trust me.

The other day Reese came up to me on the couch, standing next to me while I sat, and she put her arm around my neck, stared smiling at me for a bit, and just leaned over and kissed my head. If that doesn't rock your world, than I don't know what could.