Poster Child for 'Almost'

Normally my posts are pretty light reading, so you'll have to forgive me today. I'm not feeling so easy and light!!

I'm so tired of being the "Almost Got It" girl. I am tired of only hearing God's voice when doors are shutting in my face that I thought I was supposed to open. Lately it seems that I'm often hearing from God only when I'm being disappointed in the things that aren't working out as I expected. This week I heard a resounding "NO" from God about something I was almost certain was supposed to be. And of course, I didn't just hear it from God, I heard it from several sources. It is so hard to hear that you missed the mark, weren't good enough, weren't quite what was needed. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just frustrated that I keep getting disappointed.

Clearly this means I'm not listening to God in several areas. I am obviously not setting my goals by what I hear God saying, clearly not praying enough about the next step in life, and VERY clearly not being content about where God has us now.

If you know me well, you know I am absolutely the most impatient person on the planet - hence the road rage and unfortunate compulsive tendencies! So, waiting for God's voice is never the easiest thing for me, nor is being content. I'm always wanting to know what is next, what can we do to change where we are , how can we better our situation... Those things are not necessarily always bad, but they can definitely cause me to lose sight of my true purpose and the big picture. It's very likely that God is teaching me to wait on Him. To ask, wait and listen to ONLY Him, instead of trying to force open doors that only end up bringing me disappointment and frustration, as well as feeling pretty sucky about myself!!!

I realize God is not testing me, only teaching me, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. I'm tired of being the 'almost' girl. I could write my story about being that girl.